Chains of Hope

When is it enough? You know what I mean. You get the nice little chain email that talks about being a true friend or how much you mean to someone and you are suppose to send it back and to all your other friend. So you send it out… then you get it back… do you have to send it back to those people that sent it back to you or are you good and the message received that you are both great people?

Really do you run the risk of not sending it back to the people you sent it to and hurt their feelings, or do you resend it to them to confirm and then they have to send it back, so it becomes a never-ending barrage of chain emails.

Then I have to ask, myself and those that send me the emails… if you really cared about someone that much… do you really need to send them those cute little chain letters. I mean shouldn’t you let them know everyday that you value them as people? Plus, should you really be sending those chain letters and cramming peoples’ email boxes with them. Is that really anyway to show you care?

Now, it isn’t that I mind getting them. Some are really nice, and I am not perfect and I know that there are people in my life that I forget to let know that they matter to me. Some of the chain letters are important as that they spread a message of hope for a good cause, many are reminders that we are not alone in life and that we are all humans and need to care for one another. Some are funny and provide the pick me up you just might need on one of those days…

I guess what I am saying is, if you get them send them, if you don’t get it back don’t take it personal… just know that you made someone’s day.

Simple Joy

I had to write about my weekend. I was awake most of the night thinking about exactly what to say and why... so that it appeared organized. Sorry, didn't have much success with that.

This weekend was a simple joy. I was able to spend it with my 12 year old daughter. Just the two of us, because my husband and son were out on a dad/son campout with thier "tribe".

I was most impressed to begin with by how excited my daughter was for the weekend. She is twelve and I don't really think that spending a weekend with your mom is something that you get excited about at that age. I am thankful though... she is not a typical 12 year old and well, typical is something I have never been.

She couldn't get them out of the house quick enough. Now, I fully expected this to be a weekend of Orlando Bloom movies, as that he decorates her walls and her dad isn't found of Lord of the Rings, and he can only take so much of the Pirates. So I was prepared. But what did she want to watch? The DaVinci Code... yes, my 12 year old. I had already seen it with my husband, there really wasn't anything in the movie that we would object to her seeing, so I put it in.

This lead to a very indepth conversation about God, religion and whether or not I believed the DaVinci Code. Well, to spare you my beliefs and spirituality I asked her what she thought. My children were both baptized catholic, and not at birth. I am not catholic... you can't even call me christian. But I was at a point in my life, where I felt lost. I had walked away from what I had been believing for reasons that I won't go into and decided to try the way most people think you should be... catholic, church, confession and such. I was looking for answers, and I felt it important for my children to have a better basis then I did as a child to start thier journey. Hence they were baptized at 2 and 5.

In the beginning church and prayer was VERY important to my daughter, I am sure that she condemned me to hell every time we missed church. It was very important to her, and I was supportive. On that journey I realized that what I had believe my whole life was actually what I believed and I couldn't buy into organized religion. I tried, I read the Bible, entirely, took classes, I tried... it isn't for me. But I didn't stop going because my daughter was still involved and it was important to her.

That lasted until she was in third fourth grade and the new preacher that came to her school and our church told her, as well as the school, that Muslims were killing Catholics and that they were bad people. My daughter came home in tears, her dad is Muslim, from Pakistan... why would her preacher tell her that. I am thankful that the day she came home upset, her dad was on a business trip and wasn't there. So it lead to a long talk between her and I, and my going to the prinicipal the next day.

I just want to interject that my son was never fond of church and has no desire to go. He is more interested in going to prayer with his dad.

Anyway, after this talk this weekend with my daughter I asked her what she believed. She didn't know, and she didn't know what to do. So I told her to read. Read the Bible, read about Islam, read about Hinduism and such. Read about every religion that she has questions about and figure out what she believes in and why. I will guide her, and her dad told her the same thing this weekend when he came home and she wanted to have the conversation with him. But it had to be her journey, we were only guidepost, and that the best thing for her to do was educate herself. She wants to start with reading the DaVinci Code. I told her that she needed to understand that it was looked at as a book of fiction by most... but if that was were she wanted to start, then she could.

Of course she asked me if I thought it was a book of fiction, and I said this, "The story of the characters are just that, a story, but I believe the basis for it."

The rest of the weekend she did girlie, 12 year old stuff. Shopping... we spent HOURS, yes HOURS in the malls here. We have two very large inside malls here in Dayton, and we went through one, we had to drive to the other. Had it not been cold and rainy I am sure that I would've entertained her at the outside mall called The Greene, whic is my favorite if I have to have one, the hae an amazing bookstore there.

I think she told me how awesome I was about 15 times, which made me laugh. I bought her a book, and Bertie Bots, she is a Harry Potter fan... she is slightly obessed, she shopped for shoes, and movie star sun glasses, she had to have the chocolate dipped strawberries at the chocolate shop. We lived on popcorn and pretzels all weekend, (yes I know), she got hooked on the TV show The Unit, we rented the DVDs because I was missing something and now she is hooked.

But the simple joy I had of getting to know my daughter. We have always had a good relationship and I thought we were close anyway, but rebonding with her this weekend was priceless. She is 12 and I know my time with her where she wants to be with me is limited, and I am not looking forward to the time that she gives me the "Do I Have to.." when I tell her that she and I are together for the weekend again.

I hope it is far away... I hope that she knows how much I love her and how amazing she is to me.

Enjoy your children, get to know them for who they are... not who you think they are.. you might be surprised and what you find.

Another reason for Prepaid Legal

I am again on my bandwagon for PrePaid Legal simply because I feel that it is important. If for no other reason then to get your affairs in order before it is to late. I have two stories to share with you on this matter, one personal and one from an associate.

The first story is about my dad.

He was taken before his time, and he was taken leaving things in utter disarray. He had a girlfriend, and ex wife, and estranged wife and us three children. As I stated in another entry, I fought for his funeral, in which I honored his wishes according to what he had told us our entire childhood. His girlfriend wanted to go against those wishes because she stated that he no longer believed that way and he should be buried. The estranged wife objected to anything above the bare minium because she hated him and was responsible for paying for the funeral as that they never legally divorced eachother. Niether of them wanting to pay for it. He had a pention, and life insurance and three kids that according to his divorce from our mother should been the beneficiaries, however the estranger wife that had not seen him in over two years and was glad that he was dead ended up with everything. He owed my mom over $36K in back child support for my two younger siblings.

Had he had a will prepared, everything could have been addressed as he wanted it to be, instead the state decided what was going to happen, and then my mom fought for atleast part of what was owed in back child support. The estranged wife will recieve money for the rest of her life because of his death and there being no will, and the girlfriend kept all of his belongings. It was a mess. I BEG of you to NOT do this to your family. Make sure that your wishes and wants are heard and followed. Have a will prepared, have your advance directives taken care of.


My associates story:

The importance of a will

John Denver went out for a routine plane ride when the unexpected
happened. He crashed into the bay and died. What was he thinking?
Probably not about the fact that he had left three children and no will,
with no directive about the disposition of his $20 million estate.

Jackie O. on the other hand, left an explicit will detailing the handling of
her $200 million estate including specific bequests to her children, gifts
for her friends, and 36 pages of directives on the distribution of her
property including her Fifth Avenue apartment in New York City and an
autographed copy (signed by Robert Frost) of JFK's inaugural address.
While you may not have $200 million (yet!), it is important that you take
control of your legacy and write a will.

Seven out of 10 Americans die "intestate," meaning without a will. In fact, each state has its own rules regarding the distribution of property as well as laws that dictate what
constitutes the elements of a valid will. Just like any other area of
financial planning, knowing the basics can go a long way. Unfortunately,
most of us don't like to think about writing a will, but the best way to
provide for your heirs is to do proper planning in life, while you can!

What's a will?

A will is a document that transfers your property at your death to
designated persons. It is revocable, which means that it is subject to
change until your death. It becomes effective only upon your death. The
goal of your will is to distribute your property to whom you wish, like your
diamond engagement ring to your favorite daughter-in-law or your coin
collection to your grandson. A will also provides for your assets to be
managed or for the care of your children by naming guardians for them.

You -- the "testator" if you are a man, or "testatrix" if you are a woman --
are the main player in writing your will. You must be of sound mind and
of majority age in your state. You must declare it to be your "last will and
testament." It must be in writing and signed by you, and two witnesses.
It should be revised when you have a change in your family situation like
a birth or a divorce, or when there is a change in the tax law. It is
essential to name a personal representative, who is known as an
"executor" or "executrix."

"The executor is charged with a fiduciary duty to carry out the terms and
conditions of the testator's will as well as settle all debts. The role is
shaped by the size and complexity of the estate," says Judd Kleeger, an
attorney in New York City. Being an executor or executrix is a job which
requires competency and some financial knowledge. Upon the death of
the testator, the executor will have to take an inventory of and collect
assets, pay debts and taxes, and manage assets.

"An executor of a large and complex estate will have much to do.
However, they will be rewarded handsomely by receiving a fee, generally
a percentage of the estate's value," Kleeger says.

Related tax issues

There are several tax issues that you should be aware of when preparing
your will. Our government imposes an estate tax from 18 percent to as
high as 55 percent! Yes, 55 percent -- that is more than half of your
accumulated estate upon your death. Fortunately, we are all entitled to a
credit against this tax. In 1998, the "applicable credit amount" was
$625,000 increasing annually until it reaches $1,000,000 in 2006.
For estates larger than the applicable credit amount, there are several
strategies that can be employed inside a will to take advantage of this
credit -- because if you don't use it, you lose it. For example, a provision
can be made in both spouses wills for "Credit Shelter Trusts." This way,
the decedent's estate shelters their credit in a trust. This trust is one to
which the surviving spouse has the right to income but which will be out
of their estate, and upon their death, would not be taxed with their
remaining assets. Trusts are prepared at a 25% discount through the
Pre-Paid Legal family plan.

"With all of the recent tax law changes regarding gifts and estates made
by the Taxpayer Relief Act of 1997 and the IRS Restructuring and Reform
Act 1998, effective tax planning by a tax practitioner can save taxes both
during life and for your heirs," says Alan Levine, a tax attorney in New
York City.

Remember, your will is your last word. Don't let someone else, like your
state or the federal government, utter it for you! You can either pay a
high dollar estate planning attorney to prepare your will or you can get
one at NO ADDITIONAL CHARGE through your Pre-Paid Legal
Membership! The value of the Will alone will pay for your family
membership for years! Don’t procrastinate! Get your will prepared
TODAY!

The will alone is worth the membership fee!
www.prepaidlegal.com/hub/jennifercassady