Chains of Hope

When is it enough? You know what I mean. You get the nice little chain email that talks about being a true friend or how much you mean to someone and you are suppose to send it back and to all your other friend. So you send it out… then you get it back… do you have to send it back to those people that sent it back to you or are you good and the message received that you are both great people?

Really do you run the risk of not sending it back to the people you sent it to and hurt their feelings, or do you resend it to them to confirm and then they have to send it back, so it becomes a never-ending barrage of chain emails.

Then I have to ask, myself and those that send me the emails… if you really cared about someone that much… do you really need to send them those cute little chain letters. I mean shouldn’t you let them know everyday that you value them as people? Plus, should you really be sending those chain letters and cramming peoples’ email boxes with them. Is that really anyway to show you care?

Now, it isn’t that I mind getting them. Some are really nice, and I am not perfect and I know that there are people in my life that I forget to let know that they matter to me. Some of the chain letters are important as that they spread a message of hope for a good cause, many are reminders that we are not alone in life and that we are all humans and need to care for one another. Some are funny and provide the pick me up you just might need on one of those days…

I guess what I am saying is, if you get them send them, if you don’t get it back don’t take it personal… just know that you made someone’s day.

Words of the Wise

If you sell things on eBay or Craigslists or other places like that I highly advise that you only accept credit cards or paypal for payment. Why you ask, oh well let me tell you.

There are slimy people out there that are giving fraudulent cashier checks and money orders. Do not think for one minute that just because you ask the bank teller if they are legitimate and they think they are and you make the deposit all will be hunky-dory.

Obviously you can tell that I am a writer… well, maybe you can’t. That is besides the point. I accept payment from clients through my paypal account, I do this for protection really. I have been ripped off by enough people that owe me money and have not wanted to pay, have paid with a bad check or a money order that I am as cautious as I can be and still make a living being self employed.

Though paypal and I have had our differences they do what they can to help make sure that fraud is not being committed with their service. My bank advised me that if you do anything on line, with eBay or paypal they recommend setting up a second and separate checking account because of all the crap they have seen. So we did just that.

My husband received two checks. We thought that they were cashier checks, the bank said they were international money orders. Anyway, to be safe, we deposited them and had a hold put on them to make sure that they cleared and all was peachy keen.

Last night I log into our account to see where we are at and if those items had infact cleared… well they didn’t. Turns out that they were fraudulent. As that I trust few people I wasn’t surprised really, that is the point of that separate account. What I was surprised about was that the bank not only took the credit that they had given for the deposit, which was held for 7 days to make sure it cleared, they then charged us the amount of those two checks in the new account as well as froze our personal account and charged us that amount on that account as well. In the end what the Loss Prevention Department at our bank was trying to tell me that we owed them almost $4000 because the deposit we had made was returned.

No matter how many times I went over it with this woman she kept telling me we owed that money because we got a credit for it. When the deposit came back they had to take that away. Ok… I got that, I was good with that. But to be triple charged for something that I never had access to, never spent, never took, never touched NO I was not good with that!

She decided to transfer me to a “manager”. What she did was send me to another department to this poor man that tried to help me, but is wasn’t his department. In the end I think he was as upset as I was and he said, “You have to call Loss Prevention back.” While the phone rang and I prayed to not get the same woman as I held back the tears and tried to not drop the phone because I was shaking so bad this wonderful woman named DeeDe answered that phone… and she helped me… she understood what I was saying, and she fixed the problem. What had been done never should’ve been done and all will be okay. We are of course out $70 for overdraft fees that we shouldn’t have but because of what they did we ended up with them, but she couldn’t return them, I have to go to the branch where the account was opened and talk to the manager and explain what happened and ask for the fees back.

I think I will let my husband take care of that. I am done dealing with the bank for now.

BUT.. the purpose here is that I want to educate you on your banking and what is allowed and what isn’t.

First, when you make a deposit at your bank, you become financially responsible for that deposit. So if you are in doubt over ANY deposit that you EVER make ask them to place a hold on that deposit to make sure that it clears. The hold is usually five or seven days. It may seem like a lot, but it will save you a lot of money.

If you don’t place the hold and you spend that money and it comes back, you have to make up that money and all fees that are associated with that money. But only for the amount of the deposit.

So in my case, I got the “credit” but we had the hold in it. So when it ended up coming back all the bank should’ve done was take away that credit. All the “money” was there so it should’ve put our account back to the balance that was there prior to that deposit.

What they tried to do was take the credit, which they should’ve and then charge me that amount as well. Which they SHOULD NOT have done. Then on top of that they looked at our personal account we had with them and then charged that account the amount as well. Which they SHOULD NOT HAVE done.

Now, had I not been on top of our finances and called the bank until I got someone to listen to me and go through it with me, we would’ve ended up owing the bank almost $4000 erroneously. And do you think that they would’ve called and said, “I am so sorry for our f**k up here is your 4 grand back.” Ummmm… no. I like our bank, I think they are great… let’s be realistic.

So my advice to you is this:

Have a separate account for anything that you do on the internet.

Have a hold placed on ANY deposit you are not sure of – I don’t care if it is check from your Uncle.

Stay on top of your finances. – That is what online banking is for!

Do not let up until you find someone that will listen to you!

Thoughts of Gratitude

It is that time of year once again, when we all need to stop and take a moment to look at our life and be thankful for where we are, who we are and for those that have helped to put us here. While I truly believe that this is something we should every day, it seems that around the holidays the feelings are even greater… So here is my list of truly heartfelt gratitude to those that mean more to me then life, to those that have had an influence on my life, those that have helped me be the person I am right now, to those that have that are helping me get to where I want to be and to those that presented challenges that I have over come.

First I thank my husband for being the man that he is and choosing to be with me when he could be with anyone in the world. For giving me unconditional love and support faithfully and loyally.

To our children I thank you for being the individuals that you are, and the good people you are turning out to be. I may not say it enough but there is not a day that goes by that I am not proud of you and truly glad that they universe could’ve given you to anyone but gave you to me.

To my mom, thank you for giving me life, being an inspiration and loving me unconditionally. I know that you sometimes wonder if I am ok or if I miss you, I am and I do. You raised a strong woman and I thank you.

To my sister… it is you I miss the most.

To my brother in law and nephew, next to being having me for a sister you are the greatest things that have ever happened to her and I am so thankful that you are a part of our family. I wish that we got to see you more, but we are looking forward to Christmas.

My brother I love you and hope that you and your family are doing well. Hopefully we will see each other soon.

The Critters… especially Trish, I am so grateful that you are more then friends but you are family. It is hard to remember what life was like before we were friends and I know I can not see a day when we will not be a close and you will not mean as much.

To the Arendts for taking us in and treating us like family.

My heterosexual lifemate, we have traveled an interesting journey together, one that I know will never end. I am incredible grateful to the universe for blessing me with your friendship.

Antonio, I am grateful that you have seen my talents and believe in them and I foresee great things in our working relationship. Truly you are the LOA in action. Thank you!

The Flannerys, I can not even begin to put into words how grateful I am that I have been blessed with your friendship. Michelle if angels walked on Earth I would believe that you are one of them. Know that we all love and appreciate you and your entire family. We have built a lifelong friendship.
The Forrests, thank you for wanting to become friends and knocking on the door to introduce yourself. May distance not hinder the growth of our friendship.

Pam, thank you for giving me the compliment of being “force of nature,” and being the person that you are.

The Stupid Woman and her Inconsiderate Man I thank you for proving that it takes all kinds of people to make up the world, and it is possible live in a dark house with no windows and mirrors so that you can even fool yourself about the type of person you really are. I hope that one day the Inconsiderate man truly becomes a man for the sake of his children and becomes an honest person because his wife deserves better. May the stupid woman open her eyes and realize that she deserves better.

I am grateful to the universe for all that it has provided me and all that it continues to provide.

I know that I have not named every person I am grateful for, but know that there isn’t a person I have come into contact with that had not taught me something and for that I am grateful.

To the loved ones that I have lost, while you may be in the afterworld I am grateful for the memories of you I still hold.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!

I am BACK!

For anyone that has been checking in trying to figure out what in the heck is going on, well... there apparently was a problem with the littel robots that scan the blogs at Blogger.

It has taken a couple of weeks to get this straightened out and that led to the birth of the Wisdom of Jen 2 page. While I will continue to run both I will try to keep the content as different as possible.

If you are looking for the Stupid Women! post it has been moved to http://wisdomofjen2.blogspot.com

The post was modified slightly and as I stated before if you would like the link to where the Inconsiderate Man and his Stupid Woman wife found a new home send a post and I will give you the link.

Well I am glad to be back! Not that I ever really left, I just added a new page.

Thoughts Continued

You will notice that there have been a few changes to the webpage since your last visit. I have moved a few of the posts to another blog that I have as that I am tired of playing games with the inspiration for those four post. I have decided that no matter how many cosmic smacks upside the head some people get, instead of opening their eyes and acknowledging their own actions they instead continue to want to put the blame elsewhere. While there are two sides to every story… real people at least admit their part in that story.

That is fine. It is really not responsibility to help or fix those people. You can lead a horse to water but can’t make him drink even if you hold his head under the water. You can open all the curtains in a dark room, but if a person keeps their eyes shut it is still dark. While I like to remain optimistic and want the best for people, there are some that are just plain lost causes. As sad as that is, it is a fact I have come to learn and will deal with it on my own.

Karma, whether you believe in it or not, it is real and it will get you. Karma will give you a nice wake up call when you least expect it. At some point we all pay for what we have done, right or wrong. While you can pretend you are perfect the universe knows the truth. Karma…

I have to tell you that I again am surprised by people. Well maybe surprised is not the correct word as that really anymore nothing surprises me. I guess really it is disappointment. Part of that disappointment comes from expecting everyone in the world to do what I would do… knowing that isn’t realistic but still.

I do have some promising posts coming. For the first time in a long while there will be daily post here on the Wisdom of Jen. I think they will be interesting. The first one or two will be definitions. Yes, definitions… they are needed for the story that will follow. I am thinking that the story itself will probably take seven days. Should be fun, I am looking forward to posting it. So for those that check in regularly, you will not want to miss the next 14 days here at the Wisdom of Jen. For those that are new to the page, you are coming at just the right time.

If you would like to know where Stupid Women and the 3 Inconsiderate Man posts went leave a comment and I can give you the link. J

Thought for the day

In the last few weeks I have been amazed by some of the people I know. Keep in mind that I don't mean that in positive way in all the time.

I am a true believer in the fact that if you give a person chance, they will surprise you. I have one person who agreed to do something that no one that knew him thought he would. I never doubted it. Of course there was an angle as to why he agreed to do it, which I expected but he agreed. I look at it as him finally doing something that isn't selfish and he is thinking about two other little people that he often forgets about anyway.

Then I have friends, that I thought would be friends of ours for a lifetime, and yet the last time we saw them... it was the strangest and most uncomfortable environment I have been in in many many years.

I understand people change. I know I have and maybe it is just that my expectations have changed, my husband and I and our children have gone through alot in the last year. We all have changed, for the better, we are all more greatful and successful in what we are doing.

Maybe that is what is causing the tension. You want your friends to be happy for you... but maybe when they are not happy it is hard to be happy for someone else.

I am a firm believer in accepting people for who and what they are. No one is perfect. That would make them boring.

I may not always be the greatest friend in the entire world, but no matter what has ever been going on in my life good or bad or I have always taken the time to celebrate the good things going on in my friends' lives.

Just a thought for today.

Writing Web Content

Things to Bear in Mind While Writing Content for the Web

When you are sitting and contemplating what to write for content for your web page, or if you are a writer and you have a request from a client for web content there are certain things you need to keep in mind.

Obviously writing for the web is different then writing a book you are going to have printed and published, much as a term paper for college is going to be more in depth then an article for the web on the same topic. Web content needs to be shorter. Why you ask, because reading on the web is more difficult then picking up a book or newspaper. Reading from the computer screen puts a greater strain on your eyes. The fuzziness that the computer screen gives makes a person read slower and makes the brain process the information slower.

Secondly you may want to consider the old adage, “Less is more”. This is especially true when writing for web content. Think about it, we live in a world when we want the information that we want now! Not after reading through pages of information, heck we will find another site in less time that will give us what we want quicker. So if you can cut out words, be more precise and concise you will be more successful.

Paragraphs, hmmmm this one will depend on they style of writing. Generally speaking though, if you browse over web articles you will find much shorter paragraphs then in a book. As long as the paragraph does not drag on forever, I don’t really think there is a right or wrong paragraph size. Use your best judgment and keep all of the points I am mentioning in your head while you are writing.

Probably the most important thing to keep in mind, more so then keyword optimization, write for the reader not for your self. You want to write in a way that the reader is going to get what they are looking for, in a comfortable conversational tone with out big words. Trust me on this one if you don’t believe anything else I am saying.

Another important key that ranks right up there with writing for the reader is that you need to be direct. What do I mean by this? Know what you are going to talk about, start at the beginning and work your way through to the end in way that makes sense and flows nicely. Don’t skip all over the place, you are going to give your reader a headache, they are going to get frustrated and there goes your hopes of being an acclaimed web writer.

When it comes to word choice, make powerful word choices. Don’t just say that the steak was good. Say it was bursting with flavor that filled your mouth with the sensation that your taste buds were standing up and applauding. Paint a picture and put your reader there. You want them to taste that steak, or be on that beach, or empathize with the victim. They need to become part of what you are writing.

To use sub headings or not? I say it depends on what you are writing about. If the content is lengthy and there are many topics you need to cover to have it complete then yes use them. As far as I am concerned that is when they are needed. The only other time I believe they are necessary is if you are talking about different things that aren’t really related to one another. If you are going to use them, make sure that they make sense and that they grab the reader’s attention.

These are only a few of the things that you need to keep in mind while writing for web content. You can be successful with your writing, and make money if you follow these simple guide lines.

Kids Can Be Green Too!

I think that we need to include our children in our efforts to save the world. Maybe really, it is them encouraging us to help them save the planet.

I have been a tree hugger for as long as I can remember. I have raised my children as well to respect mother nature and take care of her. When we would walk through the woods, my son used to like to whack the trees and pull the branches. I told him, one day, those trees would get him back. How would he like it if those trees pulled his hair and smacked him around. He looked at me like I was insane. He was five. That same day, I kid you not, as we were walking back a tree branch flung up and hit him in the shoulder. Believe me, well all just stood there. He didn't know if he should cry or what. I told him, "I told you they would get you back." He never pulled or smacked another tree. He hugs them now when he needs to feel grounded. Makes me proud.

Now my children are slightly older, 12 and 9. My daughter now does the dishes. I remind her daily, to not keep the water running as she is rinsing. To wait until the sink is full of clean dishes or to fill that sink with water and then dip the dishes into that water to rinse.

They do not use toothpaste pumps, because they supply to much waste. They don't leave the water running the entire time either.

My son is clever, he doesn't flush... I yell at him... it's gross... he says that he is conserving water. While I know people do that, and that it is smart.... that one, I can't do. Flush... please... it is a viable alternative to pollution caused by the smell left behind and building in the potty.

We don't use paper towels or cups. We do use water bottles that we refill.

My son and his friends get together to swap toys they no longer want instead of throwing them out. If a toy isn't traded and not wanted, we donate it to the homeless shelter or to good will.

My daughter swaps clothes. She loves it. It is a new wardrobe to her... and to her friends.

There are ways they can protect the environment and you can help. Going green doens't have to be expensive. It can really be done for free. It is the small things that make the biggest impact.

Hug a tree... plant a flower.... stand bare foot in the dirt... recycle....

Another Great Quote

I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity.