Happy New Year!

I want to start by wishing everyone a very blessed New Year. I know that this comes a week late, but better late then never. My new year has started off very busy and really quite amazing. I am very excited about all that this year has to offer me and my family, not only personally but professionally. 2008 will be a year for the record books!

This being the Wisdom of Jen I would like to give you my wise thoughts for the New Year and what I learned from last year.

First, pay attention to the way you are with the ones that you love. Just because you think that your actions are right or just does not mean that is how they are taken by those around you.

While you can not control how people perceive what you do or say you can control how you put it out there.

Second, no one is perfect… even those that you think you know very well will surprise you, they may even hurt you… and that will be a test of strength of the relationship you have with them.

Third, there isn’t anything worth having that isn’t worth fighting for. I say this because there are times in life, when you least expect it, that life will challenge you to see if you are true to your words and your feelings… Whether you fight or walk away will tell you all you need to know about you as a person and the truth of your own claims.

Fourth, Family is everything so cherish them. I am not talking about only blood relatives, but those that you consider to be family.

Fifth, you can never take back the words that you say. So think before you open you mouth and let them come out. The bridge you burn today may be the life line you need tomorrow. What will you do now that it is gone?

Sixth, take risks no matter how huge the risk seems… there are times that you will find the risk that could cost you the most gives you the most.

Seventh, there is no greater man in this world then my husband. I say this because it is true. I am not telling you that he is perfect, for neither am I. But he is truly the most amazing man I have ever known, and the strength of character that he has… well… it just takes my breath away.

Eighth, our children are the most precious things in the world to us. They make us proud everyday as they grow and become independent little people. They are not who they were five years ago, but the people they are becoming are incredible.

Ninth, do not expect more from others then what you are willing to do or give yourself.

Tenth, no matter how bad things get… before you make a drastic decision… and act out of haste and emotion… breathe. Just breathe, and look at things from outside yourself… what you are going through … it has a purpose… are you strong enough to see it through or will you break under the pressure and throw it all away.

These are just my ten bites of wisdom. This last year… well, I saw a lot of things… experienced things that I never thought I would have to… but I learned a lot… and I believe that it is all about how you handle a situation and less about the situation that defines us as people.

Time to Organize and Promote!

I am starting a new set of blogs. Each blog will have a purpose, and the first one that I am building is all about Relationships.

Each post will have to do with the good, the bad and the ugly of what no one ever tells you about relationships but we all experience.

My adivse is based on my life, what I gone through, lived through and am here to talk about. It is also about the things I have seen in other people's relationships.

I am here to tell you that Dr. Phil has nothing on me.

Here is the link: http://soulsearchin.wordpress.com/

A Really Good Song

IN THE AIR TONIGHT

I can feel it coming in the air tonight, Oh Lord
I've been waiting for this moment, all my life, Oh Lord
Can you feel it coming in the air tonight, Oh Lord, Oh Lord
Well, if you told me you were drowning I would not lend a hand
I've seen your face before my friend
But I don't know if you know who I am
Well, I was there and I saw what you did I saw it with my own two eyes
So you can wipe off the grin, I know where you've been It's all been a pack of lies
And I can feel it corning in the air tonight, Oh Lord
I've been waiting for this moment for all my life, Oh Lord
I can feel it in the air tonight, Oh Lord, Oh Lord
And I've been waiting for this moment all my life, Oh Lord, Oh Lord
Well I remember, I remember don't worry
How could I ever forget, its the first time the last time we ever met
But I know the reason why you keep your silence up, no you don't fool me
The hurt doesn't show but the pain still grows
It's no stranger to you or me

Just What I Needed Today... Thought I Should Share This

When I woke up this morning it occurred to me that the most important thing I could do today is remind you that YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. Because if you are like most women, you dont hear it enough!

I want you to take a breath here and really drink this in:
You are a beautiful woman!

Why would a total stranger take a moment to tell you that? Because like you, I am a woman who yearns to hear those words more often.

I know how it is. You go about your day, crossing things off your list, YEARNING for the beauty in your heart to be seen and appreciated by someone. And its often so rare, that as women, we consider ourselves lucky if we experience it even once a year. Its so sad.

Whats more, the media is always telling us we arent pretty enough, young enough, skinny enough. Well enough is ENOUGH.

To be totally honest with you, woman to woman, Im really troubled by it. Every commercial billboard and print ad is trying to get us to buy some wrinkle reducing, shiny hair gel or cream. Like were not complete without it, or beautiful just as we ARE. They always want to sell us more!

Twenty years ago you had to be a size six. Now you have to be a size two to be considered beautiful and attractive. God forbid you have hips or grey hair or even one little wrinkle. Weve gotten so self-critical!

Let me ask you, how did you feel the last time you looked in a full-length mirror? Be honest with me now.

I know the feeling. Ive been there too. Wishing certain body parts were different. Secretly considering what to do to change them. A private war on your hips or your belly. For me it was my thighs.

But I want you to know thats the MEDIA speaking. Its not who you really are at all. It doesnt matter how old you are, or how much you weigh, either. Your heart is the beauty that shines through.

Im going to prove it to you, just in case you have doubts.

Im going to tell you a story right now that could change your life FOREVER. Keep reading.

I was at a sidewalk cafi yesterday with one of my closest girlfriends where I live in Los Angeles, and we were people watching. After about ten or so women walked by, we each observed how not one of these women were particularly attractive. They seemed dull and tense and unkempt. None stood out. None were memorable.

Until another woman walked by who was TOTALLY DIFFERENT from the rest.
She flowed like water when she moved, and her smile lit up the sidewalk. She just had a glow about her. The men outside the cafi all turned their heads.

What did she have?

First let me tell you what she DIDNT have.

She didnt have a perfect body. She was at least, and Im not kidding you, twenty pounds overweight.

She WASNT young either. She was probably about fifty, with long silver hair that swept past her shoulders. Whats more, she wasnt even wearing make-up!

And not only was she NOT dressed in designer clothing, she was actually wearing a T-shirt and sweatpants with flip-flops!

How could this be?

Listen closely here, because what Im about to share is perhaps the BIGGEST BEAUTY SECRET EVER KEPT, and I want to let you in on it. Its what the media doesnt want us to know. Its the TRUTH.

At home, when we look in the mirror, we tend to see everything wrong with our bodies and wish those body parts were different. And yet, when we go out in public, what other people see is our posture and our energy. No one is looking at the size of your thighs or your belly. No one.
What? !!

Its true. If you dont believe me, do the cafi people watching experiment yourself and you will see exactly what I mean.

You could be wearing sweatpants with no make-up on, and if you are conveying love and warmth to the world around you, you are instantly the most beautiful woman in the room.

Why?

Heres the key: Because you are GLOWING.

The truth is, that you are beautiful, right now, as you are. You have an innate glow as a woman that makes you unique and special. You are a light the world was meant to see.

I know. Maybe you arent feeling the glow today. Sometimes our lives are really hard, and it can be really challenging on those days to find all that warmth inside.

But the good news is, you can cultivate it. You can literally cultivate your beauty like you would build a fire in the fireplace, starting with the small flame until it becomes warm enough to heat the whole room!

But HOW?

To inspire women everywhere, women like you, I decided to start a revolution. I call it the You Are A Beautiful Woman Campaign.

Girlfriend to girlfriend, I want you to be a part of it. Because we need a new answer to what the media is selling us. We need a way to feel beautiful that is natural and not just cheap, but FREE!
Its time to stop waiting. You deserve to feel seen, celebrated, and loved for your true beauty right now!

And the best news is that as part of the You Are A Beautiful Woman campaign I am giving away oodles of totally FREE beauty tips on how to cultivate your glow and your beauty in my online newsletter. Theres no obligation to buy anything.

Just go to:www.TheBeautyPromise.com

Theres no catch. Im a woman just like you who wants to see our world become more beautiful, one woman at a time.

And before I go, please forward this email to three of your best friends who will be so happy to see the words You Are a Beautiful Woman in their inbox. We all need to be reminded of our beauty. It feels so GOOD to remember.

I genuinely look forward to meeting you, and celebrating your beauty.

I leave you with my favorite quote from Grace Kelly:
You dont love a woman because she is beautiful. She is beautiful because you love her.

Your friend,
Kaia
www.TheBeautyPromise.com

A Chain Letter To Share

Ok, here is my point about chain letters. This is the one I just received. How can you not cry and then want to share it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One day a teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name.

Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down.

It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers.

That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about that individual.

On Monday she gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling. "Really?" she heard whispered. "I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!" and, "I didn't know others liked me so much," were most of the comments.

No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another. That group of students moved on.

Several years later, one of the students was killed in VietNam and his teacher attended the funeral of that special student. She had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before. He looked so handsome, so mature.

The church was packed with his friends. One by one those who loved him took a last walk by the coffin. The teacher was the last one to bless the coffin. As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer came up to her. "Were you Mark's math teacher?" he asked. She nodded: "yes." Then he said: "Mark talked about you a lot."

After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates went together to a luncheon. Mark's mother and father were there, obviously waiting to speak with his teacher.
"We want to show you something," his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket "They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it."

Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times. The teacher knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things each of Mark's classmates had said about him.

"Thank you so much for doing that," Mark's mother said.! "As you can see, Mark treasured it."
All of Mark's former classmates started to gather around. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, "I still have my list. It's in the top drawer of my desk at home."

Chuck's wife said, "Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album."

"I have mine too," Marilyn said. "It's in my diary"

Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the ! group. " I carry this with me at all times," Vicki said and without batting an eyelash, she continued: "I think we all saved our lists"

That's when the teacher finally sat down and cried. She cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again.

The density of people in society is so thick that we forget that life will end one day. And we don't know when that one day will be.

So please, tell the people you love and care for, that they are special and important. Tell them, before it is too late.

And One Way To Accomplish This Is: Forward this message on. If you do not send it, you will have, once again passed up the wonderful opportunity to do something nice and beautiful.
If you've received this, it is because someone cares for you and it means there is probably at least someone for whom you care.

If you're "too busy" to take those few minutes right now to forward this message on, would this be the VERY first time you didn't do that little thing that would make a difference in your relationships?

The more people that you send this to, the better you'll be at reaching out to those you care about.

Remember, you reap what you sow. What you put into the lives of others comes back into your own.

Chains of Hope

When is it enough? You know what I mean. You get the nice little chain email that talks about being a true friend or how much you mean to someone and you are suppose to send it back and to all your other friend. So you send it out… then you get it back… do you have to send it back to those people that sent it back to you or are you good and the message received that you are both great people?

Really do you run the risk of not sending it back to the people you sent it to and hurt their feelings, or do you resend it to them to confirm and then they have to send it back, so it becomes a never-ending barrage of chain emails.

Then I have to ask, myself and those that send me the emails… if you really cared about someone that much… do you really need to send them those cute little chain letters. I mean shouldn’t you let them know everyday that you value them as people? Plus, should you really be sending those chain letters and cramming peoples’ email boxes with them. Is that really anyway to show you care?

Now, it isn’t that I mind getting them. Some are really nice, and I am not perfect and I know that there are people in my life that I forget to let know that they matter to me. Some of the chain letters are important as that they spread a message of hope for a good cause, many are reminders that we are not alone in life and that we are all humans and need to care for one another. Some are funny and provide the pick me up you just might need on one of those days…

I guess what I am saying is, if you get them send them, if you don’t get it back don’t take it personal… just know that you made someone’s day.

Words of the Wise

If you sell things on eBay or Craigslists or other places like that I highly advise that you only accept credit cards or paypal for payment. Why you ask, oh well let me tell you.

There are slimy people out there that are giving fraudulent cashier checks and money orders. Do not think for one minute that just because you ask the bank teller if they are legitimate and they think they are and you make the deposit all will be hunky-dory.

Obviously you can tell that I am a writer… well, maybe you can’t. That is besides the point. I accept payment from clients through my paypal account, I do this for protection really. I have been ripped off by enough people that owe me money and have not wanted to pay, have paid with a bad check or a money order that I am as cautious as I can be and still make a living being self employed.

Though paypal and I have had our differences they do what they can to help make sure that fraud is not being committed with their service. My bank advised me that if you do anything on line, with eBay or paypal they recommend setting up a second and separate checking account because of all the crap they have seen. So we did just that.

My husband received two checks. We thought that they were cashier checks, the bank said they were international money orders. Anyway, to be safe, we deposited them and had a hold put on them to make sure that they cleared and all was peachy keen.

Last night I log into our account to see where we are at and if those items had infact cleared… well they didn’t. Turns out that they were fraudulent. As that I trust few people I wasn’t surprised really, that is the point of that separate account. What I was surprised about was that the bank not only took the credit that they had given for the deposit, which was held for 7 days to make sure it cleared, they then charged us the amount of those two checks in the new account as well as froze our personal account and charged us that amount on that account as well. In the end what the Loss Prevention Department at our bank was trying to tell me that we owed them almost $4000 because the deposit we had made was returned.

No matter how many times I went over it with this woman she kept telling me we owed that money because we got a credit for it. When the deposit came back they had to take that away. Ok… I got that, I was good with that. But to be triple charged for something that I never had access to, never spent, never took, never touched NO I was not good with that!

She decided to transfer me to a “manager”. What she did was send me to another department to this poor man that tried to help me, but is wasn’t his department. In the end I think he was as upset as I was and he said, “You have to call Loss Prevention back.” While the phone rang and I prayed to not get the same woman as I held back the tears and tried to not drop the phone because I was shaking so bad this wonderful woman named DeeDe answered that phone… and she helped me… she understood what I was saying, and she fixed the problem. What had been done never should’ve been done and all will be okay. We are of course out $70 for overdraft fees that we shouldn’t have but because of what they did we ended up with them, but she couldn’t return them, I have to go to the branch where the account was opened and talk to the manager and explain what happened and ask for the fees back.

I think I will let my husband take care of that. I am done dealing with the bank for now.

BUT.. the purpose here is that I want to educate you on your banking and what is allowed and what isn’t.

First, when you make a deposit at your bank, you become financially responsible for that deposit. So if you are in doubt over ANY deposit that you EVER make ask them to place a hold on that deposit to make sure that it clears. The hold is usually five or seven days. It may seem like a lot, but it will save you a lot of money.

If you don’t place the hold and you spend that money and it comes back, you have to make up that money and all fees that are associated with that money. But only for the amount of the deposit.

So in my case, I got the “credit” but we had the hold in it. So when it ended up coming back all the bank should’ve done was take away that credit. All the “money” was there so it should’ve put our account back to the balance that was there prior to that deposit.

What they tried to do was take the credit, which they should’ve and then charge me that amount as well. Which they SHOULD NOT have done. Then on top of that they looked at our personal account we had with them and then charged that account the amount as well. Which they SHOULD NOT HAVE done.

Now, had I not been on top of our finances and called the bank until I got someone to listen to me and go through it with me, we would’ve ended up owing the bank almost $4000 erroneously. And do you think that they would’ve called and said, “I am so sorry for our f**k up here is your 4 grand back.” Ummmm… no. I like our bank, I think they are great… let’s be realistic.

So my advice to you is this:

Have a separate account for anything that you do on the internet.

Have a hold placed on ANY deposit you are not sure of – I don’t care if it is check from your Uncle.

Stay on top of your finances. – That is what online banking is for!

Do not let up until you find someone that will listen to you!

Thoughts of Gratitude

It is that time of year once again, when we all need to stop and take a moment to look at our life and be thankful for where we are, who we are and for those that have helped to put us here. While I truly believe that this is something we should every day, it seems that around the holidays the feelings are even greater… So here is my list of truly heartfelt gratitude to those that mean more to me then life, to those that have had an influence on my life, those that have helped me be the person I am right now, to those that have that are helping me get to where I want to be and to those that presented challenges that I have over come.

First I thank my husband for being the man that he is and choosing to be with me when he could be with anyone in the world. For giving me unconditional love and support faithfully and loyally.

To our children I thank you for being the individuals that you are, and the good people you are turning out to be. I may not say it enough but there is not a day that goes by that I am not proud of you and truly glad that they universe could’ve given you to anyone but gave you to me.

To my mom, thank you for giving me life, being an inspiration and loving me unconditionally. I know that you sometimes wonder if I am ok or if I miss you, I am and I do. You raised a strong woman and I thank you.

To my sister… it is you I miss the most.

To my brother in law and nephew, next to being having me for a sister you are the greatest things that have ever happened to her and I am so thankful that you are a part of our family. I wish that we got to see you more, but we are looking forward to Christmas.

My brother I love you and hope that you and your family are doing well. Hopefully we will see each other soon.

The Critters… especially Trish, I am so grateful that you are more then friends but you are family. It is hard to remember what life was like before we were friends and I know I can not see a day when we will not be a close and you will not mean as much.

To the Arendts for taking us in and treating us like family.

My heterosexual lifemate, we have traveled an interesting journey together, one that I know will never end. I am incredible grateful to the universe for blessing me with your friendship.

Antonio, I am grateful that you have seen my talents and believe in them and I foresee great things in our working relationship. Truly you are the LOA in action. Thank you!

The Flannerys, I can not even begin to put into words how grateful I am that I have been blessed with your friendship. Michelle if angels walked on Earth I would believe that you are one of them. Know that we all love and appreciate you and your entire family. We have built a lifelong friendship.
The Forrests, thank you for wanting to become friends and knocking on the door to introduce yourself. May distance not hinder the growth of our friendship.

Pam, thank you for giving me the compliment of being “force of nature,” and being the person that you are.

The Stupid Woman and her Inconsiderate Man I thank you for proving that it takes all kinds of people to make up the world, and it is possible live in a dark house with no windows and mirrors so that you can even fool yourself about the type of person you really are. I hope that one day the Inconsiderate man truly becomes a man for the sake of his children and becomes an honest person because his wife deserves better. May the stupid woman open her eyes and realize that she deserves better.

I am grateful to the universe for all that it has provided me and all that it continues to provide.

I know that I have not named every person I am grateful for, but know that there isn’t a person I have come into contact with that had not taught me something and for that I am grateful.

To the loved ones that I have lost, while you may be in the afterworld I am grateful for the memories of you I still hold.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!

I am BACK!

For anyone that has been checking in trying to figure out what in the heck is going on, well... there apparently was a problem with the littel robots that scan the blogs at Blogger.

It has taken a couple of weeks to get this straightened out and that led to the birth of the Wisdom of Jen 2 page. While I will continue to run both I will try to keep the content as different as possible.

If you are looking for the Stupid Women! post it has been moved to http://wisdomofjen2.blogspot.com

The post was modified slightly and as I stated before if you would like the link to where the Inconsiderate Man and his Stupid Woman wife found a new home send a post and I will give you the link.

Well I am glad to be back! Not that I ever really left, I just added a new page.